Using Criticism to Elevate Yourself
After getting a critique or some negative comment, have you ever second guessed yourself? Do you ever look at what you have created or worked on and thought, “Who’s gonna think this is great? Really who am I to do this?”
I am guilty of this nasty negative self talk from time to time. I doubt my abilities and my worthiness often. At the same time, I find myself constantly picking up creatives and reassuring them that what they are doing is worthy. That they have a unique and important story or gift to share in order to magnify our human experience. I have to admit that I am good at what I do, and tell myself that from time to time. Do you remember that video that went around for awhile on the internet of the little girl giving herself a pep-talk in the mirror? I want to be her, and I want you to be her too.
But no matter how great we are, we can always do better or improve with the help of constructive criticism. Right? It’s painful, but true. This is one of those things that I personally struggle with. Inflicting pain. Some of my author friends jokingly believe that editors are sadists, but I am here to tell you that I haven’t met one editor that is. Well, maybe I have, but they are denying that they are. I am incapable of lying, and so when I say I hate to hurt anyone, I am being 100% truthful.
Yesterday I got a phone call from one of my writers. She had just opened the second read of a developmental edit that I completed for her. She was absolutely mortified by the red splashed all over her beloved manuscript. You would have thought I slaughtered puppies and used their blood to write my critiques on her pages. I didn’t, I swear. She was almost ready to give up. Shockingly, she was in this state of mind after she had spoke with two agents and both expressed desires to read her book. Two for two, and you want to give up? Seriously? I won’t let her.
I had to reassure that wonderful author that her story was amazing and that we were making it marketable and marvelous. I also suggested that I should start sending chocolate or booze with my critiques in order to soften the blow. That is something that I am seriously considering.
Stephen King, is attributed with saying, “When your story is ready for rewrite, cut it to the bone. Get rid of every ounce of excess fat. This is going to hurt; revising a story down to the bare essentials is always a little like murdering children, but it must be done.”
He isn’t kidding. It hurts. But I promise you, it isn’t the desire of your editor to hurt you. The pain is a by product of change and improvement. Editors are familiar with that pain. I am often reminded that I am imperfect and make mistakes. I put myself out there for the world to criticize, and I allow myself to be open to sometimes painful reviews and opinions. My mistakes are often on full display. However, many times I realize that the comments are constructive, and if I consider what is being said, making the changes makes me better. Not every opinion is valid or necessary to concede to, including your editor’s opinions. However, it may in your best interest to pause a second and put some thought into the comments and possibly adjust.
I love to surround myself with people that are smarter than me. It’s a great way to improve my skills and business. It’s my hope and prayer for writers that you are hiring editors that will be that expert for you. Learn to find the right editor for you. When it comes to my passion and reason for helping writers like you, I am offering a professional opinion that I believe will make you that much more successful.
So, you can look at your editor as someone that you pay to inflict pain, but my wish for writers is that they see their editor as that great friend and defender of their story. My wish is that you love your editor, and understand that they love you too. Push on, use the criticism to improve, and be the best writer you can possibly be.
